


Stages of Grief

by occultclysms



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Crushes, Five Stages of Grief, Humor, M/M, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultclysms/pseuds/occultclysms
Summary: Doyoung goes through the stages of grief to accept the fact that Jaehyun looks hot in gay cowboy boots.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 23
Kudos: 161
Collections: NCTV Secret Santa 2020





	Stages of Grief

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pcyjunguwudays](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcyjunguwudays/gifts).



> when i say my brain is full of rocks i mean it also please look at[this](https://www.dollskill.com/club-exx-rhinestone-ankle-cowboy-boots-rainbow.html) picture to get the reference for just how ridiculous these boots are. 
> 
> you back? good. now you can properly enjoy the story

**Stage One: Denial**

For college students who are essentially broke, Doyoung’s friends sure like to do shit that’s expensive. This year for Christmas, they did a white elephant exchange with the caveat that whatever they got had to be used in public and around their friends. It was a step up to embarrass everyone, but some people (Jaehyun) tended to take things too far.

In the white elephant exchange, Jaehyun ended up with a slip of paper that said what he was receiving and naturally Doyoung assumed it was some silly sports thing by the expression on Jaehyun’s face. Then he turned the paper around to show Doyoung the most revolting pair of shoes he’d ever seen in his life. And then he saw that they cost one hundred and eighty five dollars. Even though he didn’t pay for it (the gift was Ten’s idea, naturally), his wallet still wept that night. 

Only it wasn’t just that Jaehyun had to wear them out in public  _ once _ . He ended up falling in love with those damn shoes. Doyoung isn’t sure if it’s the fact that they were gifted to him that made him love it because Doyoung also ended up loving his gift from that night.

Though, Doyoung manages to get arguably the most mild gift of them all; A cropped sweater that says MILF Hunter across the top in bold letters. This is courtesy of Kun who thought Doyoung’s unamused reaction was absolutely  _ hilarious _ . Okay, so maybe saying that he loved his gift is a step too far. But the cut of the sweater is perfect for him and the crop shows off his toned stomach and it's the perfect amount of fabric to make him warm, but not hot. It’s all quite a fine balance that Doyoung has never achieved in all of his years of wearing sweaters.

So, yes, Doyoung wears his MILF Hunter sweater all the time, but only when he’s inside their apartment and when there is no one coming over. And if he knew how to get rid of the MILF Hunter messaging he would wear it everywhere, but he is not that lucky. 

He and Jaehyun at least got better luck than Johnny who got a thong and low rise jeans. It was not Johnny’s finest hour. Jaehyun at least got to laugh at Johnny while Doyoung was mildly embarrassed to even be seen in public with any of them. 

Doyoung and Jaehyun don’t exactly agree on everything, but they come together when it comes to timing which makes Jaehyun a good roommate. They always have coffee at the same time —9:15 AM— always get antsy and need to clean everything around the twenty seventh of the month, and most importantly, always insist upon staying in and watching movies on Wednesdays. Maybe that’s not the most important, but Doyoung would genuinely kill Jaehyun if he brought anyone over on Wednesday because that’s the day where Doyoung has classes from 10 AM to 7 PM and he generally is in an absolutely awful mood by the end of it all. 

Walking out into the tiny kitchen, Doyoung smells coffee. Coffee is good and will help him wake the hell up. But before Doyoung can get to his sweet, sweet coffee, he sees Jaehyun sitting at the bar wearing his Groovy Sheriff Shine Cowboy Boots. Doyoung blinks at him and then looks up and sees Jaehyun smiling at him, sipping his coffee.

“Why do you look so smug?” Doyoung asks suspiciously, pouring himself his own cup of coffee.

“I just feel sexy in these boots.” Doyoung nearly drops the pot of coffee and ends up spilling some on the counter. That’s certainly not what he expected Jaehyun to say. He grabs some paper towels and sops up the mess. “What do  _ you _ think, Mr. MILF Hunter?” 

Doyoung stares past Jaehyun toward the door, hoping God would burst in right now and strike him down so he doesn’t have to answer Jaehyun. Even though that would mean God would have to look directly at Doyoung in his MILF Hunter sweater and no one wants that. God sees enough shit without Doyoung contributing to it.

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun drawls. “Come on, just tell me. Your silence has made me want to know more.” And from his angle, Doyoung doesn’t have to see the wretched boots in question so all he looks at is Jaehyun in his morning glory. 

This might be a bad time to mention that Doyoung is between twenty and eighty percent sure he has a crush on Jaehyun. It fluctuates from day to day and today it’s definitely at around thirty five, and the only reason it’s not at twenty is because Jaehyun has this particular look in the morning with his hair pulled back in a head band and slightly sleepy eyes and a gentle smile that makes Doyoung feel things.

And then he sees the cowboy boots and suddenly Jaehyun seems a lot less hot. Not completely unhot, but if Doyoung were into feet he might be pushing it. Doyoung doesn’t really observe or interact with feet that much on a daily basis and he’d like to keep it that way, so Jaehyun having something weird on his feet doesn’t bother Doyoung as much as if he did something to his face.

That sounds really superficial, but Doyoung thinks he has a point.

“I don’t think you want to hear my answer,” Doyoung says finally. He would rather not hurt Jaehyun’s feeling too badly if he wants to eventually end up in his pants and Jaehyun doesn’t seem to be the type to be into hate sex. 

“No, I do though.” 

“No, you really don’t.” 

“Doyoungie.” Doyoung frowns and turns to the fridge, pulling out some creamer, pouring it into his coffee as a way to stall. “Come on, I wanna know what you have to say.” 

“I think they are awful.” Jaehyun wrinkles up his nose. 

“I think you’ll change your mind eventually.”

  
  


**Stage Two: Anger**

Jaehyun never stops wearing the shoes. They start to become the pair he wears most often. More than half the week is spent with him in those bedazzled demons from hell. And they clink when Jaehyun walks. The buckles are free moving so they make a decent bit of noise if Jaehyun is the only thing making noise in the apartment. 

Doyoung is laying in his bed, trying to study, but the words are starting to blur and all he can hear is the sound of those buckles, metal on metal bouncing around on the inside of his brain. It’s about to make him lose his shit. 

“Jaehyun, take your shoes off, for fucks sake!” Doyoung yells, his own voice making his eyeballs thrum. Jaehyun doesn’t take his shoes off and instead walks into Doyoung’s room who flops down on his bed, textbook pressing into his ribs.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your shoes are inside my brain destroying shit and setting it on fire,” Doyoung grumbles. 

“I don’t think they are,” Jaehyun says quietly. “Do you want something for your headache?”

“I want your shoes off your feet.”

“They didn’t do anything to you.” 

“I hate them so much.” 

“I’m very aware that you do, so I’ll take them off, but only if you let me take care of you.” Doyoung groans and squeezes his eyes shut. Jaehyun puts a hand on Doyoung’s stomach and rubs circles on him through his shirt. “I know you’re under a lot of stress right now.” 

It’s completely irrelevant to anything that’s going on, but Doyoung can’t help but think that his crush on Jaehyun is certainly going to be at a sixty percent level once those shoes are off. He hears the buckles clink as Jaehyun takes them off, but the sound is still like hell. 

A second clank and the other shoe is off, Jaehyun’s hand coming to pick up Doyoung’s textbook, pulling it out from under Doyoung causing him to whine. Jaehyun comes down to sit next to Doyoung and Doyoung can feel his eyes on him.

“Yeah, my head hurts like crazy.”

“Okay, so I’ll get you some medicine. Is there anything else you’d like?” Why why why—  _ why _ is Jaehyun so caring? It makes Doyoung’s heart tight, makes his head spin, makes him  _ yearn _ . 

“No, I’m okay.” 

“I’ll be right back.” Jaehyun leans down and presses a kiss to Doyoung’s shoulder before getting off his bed and walking out into the main room. Doyoung rolls over and shoves his face into his pillow. Medicine will make him feel better but he really should be studying. 

Jaehyun returns a few minutes later and flicks off Doyoung’s top light. Doyoung sits up and finds himself looking at the repulsive cowboy boots once again and swears that he can feel all of his blood in every vessel in his body. 

If he were a weaker man —one that didn’t  _ really _ want to date Jaehyun— he would have burned those shoes by now. Or at least shoved them down the garbage disposal. 

“Here.” Jaehyun holds out his hand. Doyoung takes the pill from him, popping it into his mouth before taking the glass of water and washing it down. He gives back the glass and Jaehyun sets it on his nightstand before coming back to stand in front of Doyoung. 

“Is there something else?”

“I am offering anything else you may need because I know you have this habit where you won’t ask for anything when you actually need it. And as selfless as that is, I do know there’s something else you want.” Doyoung is too tired to get annoyed at Jaehyun for perceiving him. He bites his tongue and thinks. The only thing he really wants is for Jaehyun to lay with him, and while that doesn’t happen that often, it’s happened more than once before. “You look like you want something.” 

“Would you cuddle with me?” Doyoung asks, refusing to make eye contact with Jaehyun. 

“ _ Absolutely _ . Get yourself comfy and I’ll find a spot on the bed.” Doyoung lays back flat on his back and Jaehyun walks around to the other side of the bed and kneels down next to him. “You don’t look very comfy.” 

“I’m awkward.” 

“I’m well aware. Now let me make you feel better or I’m putting the shoes back on.” Doyoung groans, but rolls over so that he’s facing Jaehyun and brings his knees in a bit so he’s finally comfortable. 

“You’re  _ mean _ ,” Doyoung mutters. 

“I know.” Jaehyun lays down facing Doyoung and very gradually brings his hand to rest on Doyoung’s arm. “The painkillers are gonna kick in soon, so just close your eyes and I’ll be right here.” Sighing, Doyoung allows his eyes to close and let’s Jaehyun’s hand rub up and down his arm, lulling him right to sleep.

  
  


**Stage Three: Bargaining**

It’s February, just about reaching Jaehyun’s birthday, but not quite. Which makes Doyoung unable to bite his tongue any longer. He really has been trying to accept the boots which clearly come from Satan’s Pinterest board since Jaehyun took care of him. But it hasn’t exactly been going well.

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung begins. They are both sitting at the bar, drinking their morning coffee. There’s no classes today so it seems like a more optimal time than the middle of the week to try out a new strategy. “I will pay you what those boots cost— scratch that— I will pay you double what they cost if you get rid of them.”

“Oh, Doyoung,” Jaehyun says wistfully into his coffee, smiling as he takes another drink. “I don’t think you realize just how much these cost.” 

“I don’t even care.” 

“Okay, despite the complete hypocrisy from you as you are literally wearing your MILF Hunter sweater right now—” Doyoung bites the inside of his cheek, physically stopping himself from starting an argument with Jaehyun. “—if you have  _ exactly  _ three hundred and seventy dollars on your person right now I will get rid of the shoes.” 

“I don’t have my wallet…”

“Looks like I’m keeping the shoes.” 

“Okay, but seriously,” Doyoung whines. “Why do you keep them around? They don’t match anything else in your closet.”

“Well, I liked them just a bit, but it’s fun to see how riled up they make you.” Jaehyun takes another sip of coffee, that same smug smile on his face while Doyoung takes a sip as well, but he’s staring into the reflection of his own face on the fridge, wondering how he got into this situation.

There’s a knock at the door and Doyoung nearly spits out his coffee back into the cup. He sets it down as quickly as he can and dashes behind the counter. Jaehyun starts laughing and goes to answer the door. 

“Hi, Jaehyun.” Kun. The very one that gave Doyoung this damned sweater to begin with. He leans his head back against the dishwasher and has his fingers crossed that Kun won’t ask about him. “I’m going to be out of town for your birthday, so I brought you your gift early.” There’s the sound of a box being handed to Jaehyun and he makes a sound of excitement. 

“This looks so cool,” Jaehyun says. “I’ll just set it on the table for my actual birthday. Would you like a cup of coffee?”  _ Fuck _ . Doyoung sighs. There is still a small hope Kun won’t see him. 

“Is Doyoung around?” Kun asks.  _ Damn it _ . “I see his coffee is still half full.” Jaehyun laughs and Doyoung prepares to meet his fate.

“He’s hiding behind the kitchen counter.”

“Jaehyun, you’re the fucking  _ worst _ ,” Doyoung says. There’s the sound of Kun walking across the floor and then Doyoung is looking up at a bemused Kun with a wide eyed Jaehyun peeking over his shoulder. 

“Nice sweater, Doyoung,” Kun comments. 

“It is the perfect sweater in every way except for the writing on it. And since I don’t need to look at the writing while I’m wearing it— I choose to wear it on occasion,” Doyoung defends. 

“I just really like this look on you.” Jaehyun nods aggressively. Doyoung stands up and grabs his coffee, not wanting to let it get cold on top of being embarrassed. 

“At least it’s not as bad as Jaehyun’s boots.” Jaehyun squawks and dramatically throws his leg up against the side of the fridge. 

“I disagree!” Jaehyun shrieks. “These are beautiful pieces of  _ art _ !” 

“I’m actually quite torn between which one I like better because while I bought that sweater, I do really like those shoes. Who bought them again?” Kun asks.

“Ten.” 

“Yeah, that adds up.” 

“Anyway, Kun, it was lovely for you to pop in, but I will be going now.” Doyoung tries to escape the conversation by taking his cup of coffee and trying to walk out of the kitchen, but Jaehyun stops him and plants a kiss on his cheek before letting him walk back into his room with a blush painting his cheeks.

  
  


**Stage Four: Depression**

By April, Doyoung has started moping around as it’s too hot to wear his perfect MILF Hunter sweater, but also cold enough where he can’t wear tee-shirts comfortably. So he’s turned to laying in bed with a blanket, but with the A/C on. It gives the perfect balance of hot and cold. 

But Jaehyun still stomps around in his sparkly cesspools of homoerotism. Doyoung is somewhat used to them, but they still dampen his mood every time Jaehyun wears them. Now they are dropping Doyoung’s crush on Jaehyun by twenty five percent rather than the usual fifteen. Though Jaehyun has been staying above fifty for most of the time since he was bold enough to kiss Doyoung on the cheek. 

There hasn’t been a repeat incident of it even though Doyoung would really like for there to be one. That also ties into why Doyoung has been curled into his blankets for days on end. He’s sure that sooner or later Jaehyun is going to storm into his room and do something drastic.

“Doyoung Kim!” Jaehyun exclaims, storming into Doyoung’s bedroom. Oh right. There it is. “You have left your room exactly five times in the past three days which isn’t nearly enough, so I’m forcing you at least out to the couch.” 

“Jaehyun, what are you doing?” Doyoung asks. If he’s being pulled away from his perfect nest, he would at least like to know what the plan is. But Jaehyun shakes his head.

“You’re coming with me whether you like it or not.” Doyoung glares up at Jaehyun and wriggles himself deeper into the blankets, almost like a challenge to Jaehyun to even attempt and remove him from his bed. Jaehyun wrinkles up his nose before practically jumping onto Doyoung. He isn’t wearing the god awful cowboy boots, which Doyoung is doubly thankful for as Jaehyun’s feet bump against his. Jaehyun’s arms wrap around the outside of Doyoung and his head nuzzles into Doyoung’s neck.

“I don’t see how this advances your goal in the slightest,” Doyoung grumbles.

“I just want you to be happy and you seem like a huggy kind of person, so I’m trying to cheer you up,” Jaehyun says quietly, unsure of his own words, but Doyoung still feels his heart falter. 

“I think it’s working,” Doyoung whispers.

“Then I’ll stay here with you.”

  
  


**Stage Five: Acceptance**

Acceptance comes in the form of Jaehyun wearing ripped up tights with the boots. He looks so happy in them and even gives Doyoung a little spin and a smile. And that’s just too much for Doyoung. He and Jaehyun are much closer now than when the year first started and it shows in Jaehyun’s additude. He used to actually be quite shy. They only really stuck together because of mutual friends (namely Kun, Johnny and Ten). 

“Doyoung, what do you think?” Jaehyun asks. “You’ve been staring at me for several minutes at this point.”

“I think… I think I love the gay-people-vomit you’ve decided to wear today.” Doyoung’s eyes stay latched on the shoes, finally seeing them for what they are. A reflection of Jaehyun’s personality. It’s a bit of a stretch, but Jaehyun is quite sparkly on the inside.

“It only took you five months to come around, so what changed?” Doyoung’s eyes snap away from the shoes and up to meet Jaehyun’s where both of his dimples are showing, trying to hold back a smile. 

“I’m in love with you.” The words feel slightly foreign to Doyoung’s ears, but deep down he’s known the truth for a while. His crush goes far deeper than he really ever acknowledged. So it’s almost a surprise to himself that he even says anything now, of all times.

“Well, that’s certainly a sentence.” Jaehyun sits down at the bar and Doyoung follows his lead, slightly worried that he’s managed to fuck up their entire friendship.

“Is it a bad one?” Doyoung asks.

“I wouldn’t say so. It’s just not what I was expecting from you. But I like it.” Jaehyun reaches for Doyoung’s hand and looks at him. “I really like you. Like, kind of a lot and even though I wouldn’t call it  _ love _ , I think I’d like to fall in love with you.”

“Does that mean that I can kiss you?” 

“Oh, absolutely.” 

**Author's Note:**

> i would like you all to know that i own these


End file.
